A Freedom-Lover’s Guide to Marriage

Does the government control the granting of marriage licenses for the mere purpose of taxing its citizens based on lifestyle choices?

The recent Chick-Fil-A love-ins and sandwich appreciation days over one individual’s opinion of marriage are enough to make my head explode.

On one hand, the conservative right says that the federal government should only sanction traditional marriages between a man and a woman, and it should pass an outright ban on gay marriage. In other words, those same people who are wrapping themselves in the Constitution and preaching limited government would like to legislate their particular brand of morality and use the federal government’s monopoly on force to make it a crime for a couple of dudes (or a couple of chicks) to get married.

On the other hand, the liberal left wants to open the floodgates so that any group of carbon-based lifeforms that want to proclaim their undying love for each other can get a rubber-stamped marriage license to live happily ever after (and get on their partner’s health insurance) with the tacit approval from the federalies.

The whole government-sanctioned institution of marriage is insane and both the left and the right are completely wrong on the issue. My take on “gay marriage” pits both liberals and conservatives against me, so I know I’m right.

I don’t support “gay marriage” because I don’t support government involvement in ANY marriage.

Let’s stop here and examine what a government license is. According to Black’s Law Dictionary (5th Edition), “license” is defined as, “the permission by competent authority to do an act which without such permission, would be illegal”.

In other words, if you wish to perform a certain act, then you are committing an offense (you are a criminal) if you do not get a license (permission) from competent authority (the government), before you engage in that act.

Therefore, when two people fall in love (the forever kind) and want to spend the rest of their lives together in state-sanctioned matrimony, they must first petition the State for permission to do so (sometimes even a blood test is required in order to prove that they’re not brother and sister because otherwise I’m sure that would be rampant sarcasm). Then and only then, are they allowed to take that marriage license to another agent of the State, or an agent of the church, to codify that three-way contract between Dick, Jane, and The State.

Don’t for one second think that a State-issued license is not a contract, because it most certainly is. Any license issued by governmental authority can be revoked, and all licenses have strings attached that require certain performance, otherwise a license would not be required.

How does this make sense to anyone? Why should two people need to apply for a license issued by the State to get married? Why does anyone need to be licensed in order to get a sprinkling of holy water or a JP’s stamp to go through life as a couple?

What brainiac thought it would be a good idea to have the government adjudicate and issue licenses to consenting adults who want to spend their lives together? What wizard of smart thought it would be a good idea to steal different amounts of money from people (aka, taxation) depending on their marital status?

Am I the only one who sees the absurdity of this?

If the government didn’t issue marriage licenses, what do you think would happen? Seriously. What would happen? Would our economy collapse? Would there be chaos in the streets? Would the Church fall apart? Would government implode?

I realize it is a little unconventional, but there is another option: Don’t ask for permission to get married; just do it.

My wife and I met several years ago, fell in love, decided to spend the rest of our lives together, said some very meaningful words to each other under the eyes of our God, announced our lifetime commitment to our friends and family, bought a house, had some children, and we get up every day and go through life as one of the strongest husband and wife teams you’ve ever seen.

Do you notice anything missing?

No permission was sought from government agents for us to love each other. No license was obtained so that some judge could pronounce us married in between off-site meetings for pronouncing other people dead. No intermediary was needed for us to talk to our God and profess our love before Him. (You don’t still think you have to go through a priest in order to talk to God do you?)

We just did it. We’re married. Ask anybody.

Our kids are in school, either one of us can pick them up, we have family health insurance, we’re each others beneficiaries on our life insurance policies, and we even have a joint bank account. Do you know that not once in ten years has anyone ever demanded to see our marriage license before doing business with us…not even the IRS? It’s true! Shocking, I know.

You want to know what the hardest part of our marriage is? Not having a wedding photo album or an anniversary date that we remember. We generally use New Year’s Eve as our anniversary since that’s the night we decided to stay together forever, but it was sometime afterward when we said our vows to each other. Neither one of us happens to be very sentimental and that date escapes our mutual recollection, but, there were fireworks that night, too.

The notion that government should in any way be involved with deciding who can live happily ever after and who cannot is absurd.

The only reason that the government inserts itself into the institution of marriage is so that it can engage in social engineering by taxing its citizens differently depending on their lifestyle choices, and THAT is a terrible reason.

If we are all equal under the eyes of the Law, then why are some people more equal than others and “enjoy” different tax rates based on marital status? Stop the insanity!

Say “I do” with freedom!

You want to get married? POOF! You’re married. How’s that.

Now go add value to the world.

6 thoughts on “A Freedom-Lover’s Guide to Marriage”

  1. Ladies & Gentlemen, Your missing the point, god should judge, not man. i am divorced, have found a wonderful partner. I have no plans of getting married again. Not because I don’t love her, but because we are together because we want to be, not have to be ! I have known several gay couples , let everyone live in peace, Like I said god will make the final judgment…

    Great points on marriage licenses’ , I never had to show mine during my 29 years of marriage. Just another form of control.

    1. The presumption here is there is a god. So far, no proof has been offered that a god exists therefore there is no need to worry over judgment from some egotistical spirit who demands worship for his own amusement.

      1. Dear Whatever,

        You are the one, as the local narcissist/psy—path, who proclaims above that you said your vows, to “your god”. I bet he is one fine fucker. So, ‘oh high one’, there is a GOD!?!?!? But then again, no proof that there is god, but you said your vows to god. So, do you humor your out of wedlock children with stories about god like stories about santa?????

        However, it’s obvious to most of us that YOU ARE GOD. You have determined, and your word is the word, that there is a god. But you have your own separate god, just like the radical muslim, and the right wing Khristian who shoots an abortion doctor in church. And you have the right to pervert god, just like the tea baggers do.

        As Gomorrah says below, you are a real scholar, obviously. Those degrees you supposedly have, I’d say that none of the U’s that you claim to have a degree from would happily claim you as alumnai/alumnae. What a joke.

        Why don’t you attack the real perpetrator’s of what YOU TERM, the marriage license scam? The church. Sorry, I should say that I know the answer to that. YOU ARE AFRAID TO ATTACK THE CHURCH.

        Have you left our country yet, since you obviously hate everything about it? Oh no, I know the answer to that also. Cluck cluck cluck-ENSHIT!!!!!!

        You will be pleased to know that you have some new followers. The network that elected, and relected, Barack HUSSEIN Obama. Since in your writing you have delclared that Hitler and Stalin had good intentions, and you blame the President of the United States for all of your problems because he is the same AS Hitler and Stalin. (i have that writing sent to me by a friend) Of course there is nothing ILLEGAL there, Bobby, just exercising your free speech. But, it may turn out to be not so good for you as far as “business” goes; who can say?!?!

        Wow, and I thought you tea baggers had tried to rewrite everything before I read that. I hadn’t ever heard that those two fellows had had good intentions. I hadn’t even heard that out of the Newt’s of the world. Of course, you aren’t right or left, right?, just right. Ha ha ha!!!!!

        I realize this is an old post of yours, but humor never dies. By the way, the blood test has nothing what so ever to do with the possibility that the two people are brother and sister. It’s to make sure you have been cured of the clap/VD YOU caught from the 20 dollar crack HO you fucked, bobby.

  2. gamorah -> “Gomorrah”

    Also, capitalisation, punctuation, and grammar are marks of having thought about what you wrote: your position might be a tad more respectable if you bothered proofreading a tad.

    And nice of you to curse when stating your Biblical position: not ironic at all. ;-)

  3. God made marriage to between a MAN and Woman only, it is not intended for men to marry men and women to marry women. homosexuality is against God’s Law. God destroyed sodom and gamorah for the very same thing. It is in the bible. This does not have a damn thing to do with the govt.

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